p.My Heart must Go On ...

The last part is here:   Article - Unwilling to Burden Family with Medical Bills, 95 year old Samsui Woman Commits Suicide (II)

The full show is here:   千与千寻
The song is here:   千与千寻-片尾曲（童年回忆）

You must watch the show first in Japanese and then in other languages.

Tonight, I am unusually quiet. Scene by scene, my video just passes me by. I looked back, I looked forward, I looked left, I looked right, I looked up and I looked down. I realized I couldn't find myself. I have no spirit. Life just passes me by. In reality, I don't even exist.

After reviewing so many bad incidents, they blaze at me like a thunderclap. I can no longer turn a blind eye to all the miseries around me.

I may have been doing marginally better than most, but I am definitely not as well off as I can do charity full-time. I too realized that I am but a small candle burning with a weak flame.

Nonetheless I am still a candle, a candle no matter how weak can still give warmth to others. I can no longer shut my eyes and ears and pretend that nothing has happened. I cannot lie to myself that I am too weak to help. I really cannot. In short, I am just selfish. I can't even hold a candle and stand upright in front of the grand dame. I felt so small.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a poor student received money to study at higher institutions. He was happy and excited that at last he can contribute to the wellness of everybody. But life was nasty to him. He was dejected to no ends.

Now he witnessed the death of an supreme old lady who gave her life for the betterment of everybody else. In fact, I am sure some of her monies also found its way to help this poor student during his studies.

The question now then is how can this poor student who benefited from superb education, courtesy of the old lady, turn his back to the lady's plight?

He could not. He  cannot. He will not.

My lady, thank you for alerting the dormant dragon in me. I cannot promise anything after your passing and contribute directly to your kins. But, I will work myself to the ground and for the goodness of the group of people who has built our home, so that I can once again get back my dignity and regain your respect.

My regrets have been although I can build a 1000 buildings per land, the white people will not be too kind to me for letting in the flood gate.

Mdm, please let me work my magic. I am sure there is a way.

For now, at least I have found my footing and even if I have helped only just one family, I am sure my forefathers before me will still accept me among the stars.

I have said many times before, each of us are off-springs of very high quality genes, if ever we had once before a weaker gene, we wouldn't have lived till now. In fact, the cold calculations of Mdm showed that age didn't blind her 20/20 vision, she knew exactly what to do when it is time for love offerings.

Thank you, Mdm.

May you bless each and every one of us who are still living to work towards a better future. Your death has enlightened me not to be blinded by physical wonders but to seek salvation of one's soul. What's the use of living when one is still indebted to and not paying back another's charity.

With so many decades more to go, Mdm, please bless me and those who will come forward to your rally call.

Goodbye, till we meet again among the stars ...